"Dedicated To The Winners & The Losers..." - Raekwon


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

How The Mighty Have Fallen Off.../Video: Eminem - We Made You



...And fallen into a bottomless pit of utter wackness. This is terrible. Everybody remotely involved with this video should be ashamed of themselves for simultaneously tarnishing their legacy and retroactively removing 1 extra mic from the "Slim Shady" and "Marshall Mathers" LPs. Just Awful. Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo? Bret Michaels? Lindsay Lohan? Star Trek?!?! It's 2009 and you are in your mid thirties! You should not still be making fun of Hollywood starlets and making fart jokes in your music videos. Can we just skip ahead to the second single where he bitches about either Kim, his mother or how the world is persecuting him? What the really sad part of this all is that Eminem still can really, really, really flow, he just has absolutely nothing left to say. Say what you want about Nas and his penchant for grandiose and incoherent statements but at least, he's trying to cover new ground with his new material, Eminem is trying to mine the same formula that went stale with his last album... which was five years ago and is a serious contender for the worst album of the decade.

This makes "Crack A Bottle" seem like "My Name Is..." and makes "My Name Is..." seem like "T.R.O.Y."...

14 comments:

Jordan said...

The Jessica Simpson lookalike is totally smashable, which means that watching the beginning of the video with the sound off isn't that unpleasant. Otherwise I'm at a loss for redeeming factors.

Is Hailey old enough to hate him yet? That could be potentially interesting material. Those first two albums really feel like he made them because otherwise he'd have to kill himself or something, and he's uninteresting without that desperation.

DocZeus said...

"Is Hailey old enough to hate him yet? That could be potentially interesting material. Those first two albums really feel like he made them because otherwise he'd have to kill himself or something, and he's uninteresting without that desperation."

I would say so. The Slim Shady LP was 10 years ago (Holy Shit! Really?!?! I feel old...) and she was at least a couple years at that point. So she's gotta be mid teens at the least? I would think that normal teenage angst combined with the resentment that your father has turned you into an infamous pop culture figure should cause you a healthy amount of self-loathing and hatred towards your parents. Although, she's definitely old enough to have developed a drug habit so.....

Although, it's going to be, at least, until her mid-twenties when full on estrangement ensues and she's not talking with her father. That could be some interesting material.

I just realized that those last two paragraphs definitely means Satan is reserving a seat for me in hell. I'm a bad person...

bding7 said...

i couldn't even finish the video, it's that bad. what i really don't understand is why he used this beat; it's so grating.

also, what good is this ability to "really, really, really flow" when your voice is makes me want to hsove needles in my ears?

DocZeus said...

"also, what good is this ability to "really, really, really flow" when your voice is makes me want to hsove needles in my ears?"

Absolutely nothing. There is nothing redeeming about this video.

Except maybe the joke about Lindsay Lohan not actually being a lesbian. I sliiiiiightly smiled at that.

Jason said...

I know you used to like him, but I seriously have always hated Eminem. So dude could flow and liked to talk about crazy shit with his wife, his humor and wit was always base shit. Maybe it's because I grew up around the same are he did, and know like a ton of other dudes no different than him, except they couldn't rap to save their lives. Anyway I guess what I saying is, I have always thought he was a moron and have been shocked that reasonably intelligent people are just figuring out how totally moronic dude is now.

DocZeus said...

Jason-

But he wasn't moronic ten years ago. Yeah, his singles were all juvenile but he had a lot of smart things to say in his music besides his odes to drugs, murdering his wife and dissing starlets.

It's the fact that he's almost 40 and hasn't remotely creatively evolved in the last 10 years that is troubling.

Jason said...

Doc-
If you heard some smart shit he said on the slim shady lp, I must have been listening to a different album then. Give me Buck 65 any day over Em.

DocZeus said...

There's a difference between dumb material and being a dumb artist. Jeezy makes dumb material and is a dumb artist. The Clipse makes dumb material but are smart artists.

Eminem had a wicked, twisted sense of humor on the Slim Shady LP that more than makes up, for the fact, that's often wading in the shallow end. But the Marshall Mathers LP and The Eminem Show are definitely smart records. He dealt with a wide variety of issues from the murders at Columbine, to freedom of speech issues, to disturbed fans. He's definitely a very smart artist.

But his new song is just asinine. It's hopelessly dated and it's sad to listen to an artist age completely ungracefully.

Trey Stone said...

while i like the album, i don't know that i'd say MMLP is an especially smart record. the main point he makes is that yeah, he says some fucked up shit, but it doesn't matter because parents should be monitoring what their kids listen to. AKA an argument pretty much every rapper ever's made. and a somewhat disingenuous one considering the age group the genre's marketed to.

granted i think "Stan" and even "Kill You" and "Criminal" are brilliant in their own messed up way, but i wouldn't say any of the actual arguments Em makes are really strong.

anyway, i wanted to be all contrarian and say that the guy's doing intentional self-parody with this and people're missing his hidden genius, but to be honest nothing in the song gives off the vibe that it's meant to be ironic or whatever. so...yeah.

MCH said...

I agree with everything you said, except Encore being a contender for worst album of the decade. Yes, a lot of the tracks are horrible (evil deeds, ass like that, big weenie, Mosh, Puke, My 1st Single etc..), but there are some great ones too like Spend Some Time, Yellow Brick Road, Like Toy Soldiers, Rain Man, Never Enough (which features 50 Cent's best verse ever, which is still faint praise).

coffee maker said...

Eminem is becoming the Weird Al Yankovic of hip hop

Badmon3333 said...

When in the sweet fucking Christ are MCs gonna realize that there it is NOT POSSIBLE to sound good flowing over a triplet beat. Oh, you can make the argument for Outkast's "The Whole World" or whateve it's called, but it's the barest of exceptions to what I consider a steadfast rule.

tray said...

Yeah, I'd like to know what he was saying that was so smart. Not that I necessarily disagree, but, just because he talked about Columbine or censorship doesn't mean that he actually had anything to say about these things.

bding7 said...

another thing barely related to the quality of this song/video: when is he going to stop wearing Air Jordan? it's never looked very stylish on him, or anyone for that matter. besides MJ, of course.