In the embryonic stages of my glorious monument to the halcyon genius that is my blog, I took serious umbrage with what Elliot Wilson and the crack team over at XXL Magazine had seemingly arbitrarily decided were the the ten most elite members of hip hop’s next generation. It was filled with such future “kings” of the genre as Gorilla Zoe, Plies and the immortal Papoose. Needless to say, one year later, their choices have only gotten more laughably awful as only
You would think after such an abortive performance that XXL perhaps would shy away from making such predictions but alas, you just don’t know
Sounds Like... Kanye West, Andre 3000 and Lupe Fiasco gang raping Lil’ Wayne in the Backyard Band’s backyard and if that act produced an offspring
Best Case Scenario: I get to triumphantly say I told you so as he sells one million copies of his debut album
Worst Case Scenario: Do you have any clue who the Backyard Band is? Is your name noz? No? Exactly…
Doc’s Take: For those who are avid reader of my blog know how big a fan I am of Wale. I personally think sky’s the limit for this kid. “The Mixtape About Nothing” remains one of the few bright spots in an otherwise, holocaust barren year for hip hop albums and Wale’s slowly been making a name for himself off the notoriety of that album. Wale bridges the elements of D.C.’s famed Go-Go scene and brings a warm, hip hop spin to it. The kid’s a star in my opinion.
Sounds like... Cee-Lo Green before he got his "Soul Machine" on
Best Case Scenario: He becomes the next Devin The Dude
Worst Case Scenario: People continue to confuse him with that one Outkast song about blowing the living bejeezus of urban Iraq
Doc’s Take: B.o.B.’s a talented dude but I can’t imagine he’s going to have much of a successful career. He seems bound for permanent underground status and if he’s lucky, he’s going to be a perennial “You-Should-Be-Up-On-This-Dude’s-Shit” status. I’ve pretty much enjoyed every solitary thing this guy has released lately but it seems too esoteric and smart to catch on with the mainstream and not “avant-garde” enough to catch on with the hipster crowds. His sound just isn’t quite original enough to carry him. He seems like another Trae. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Sounds Like… Eminem if you gave him Jay-Z’s post-retirement flow and forced him to only rap about being in college… so basically just Eminem with way less talent really…
Best Case Scenario: He gets to fuck an Olsen Twin.
Worst Case Scenario: Seriously, did you see that Dallas Penn video? Dude is doing the backstroke in pools of pussy… I don’t think there’s a worst case scenario.
Doc’s Take: It seems that there is irrational element of hip hop blogdom that loathes this guy with the fires of a thousand suns. It seems as if my fellow brethren feel that
Sounds Like... what Urkel would sound like if he rapped and had a Sonic the Hedgehog fetish
Best Case Scenario: He becomes the black
Worst Case Scenario: Well…he was once on an episode of “The Real”
Doc’s Take: I’ve written about
Sounds Like… the Okayplayer Message Boards
Best Case Scenario:
Worst Case Scenario: Electric Circus… That’s all I’ve got to say… And don’t think that isn’t coming? Did you hear that “C.R.A.C. Knuckles” album? Tell me, I’m wrong.
Doc’s Take: I don’t really know how I feel about Blu. He’s a truly talented emcee as his words flow easily from his lips and he projects the kind of soul soaked warmth the Okayplayer crowd is know for but I can’t say I really dig his music/ On one hand, I remember I thoroughly enjoyed “Below the Heavens” last year the one time I listened to it but I definitely felt like I did not need to hear that record again. The “C.R.A.C. Knuckles” he put out this year with
Sounds Like… what
Best Case Scenario: He inexplicably makes the cover of XXL Magazine… Oh wait…
Worst Case Scenario: He cons a couple of models into thinking he’s the dude who wrote that “Superstar” song.
Doc’s Take: I do not care for
Sounds Like… Aren’t these guys the same rapper?
Best Case Scenario: I mean seriously aren’t they both Lil’
Worst Case Scenario: Seriously?! I’m not making this up aren’t these guys both “proteges” of the late, great
Doc’s Take: I’m not wasting any more of my energy writing about
Best Case Scenario: DJ Khaled dies in either a fiery, multiple car accident, a long extended torture by one of the rich sadists in the movie Hostel, or gets drawn and quartered by four tractor trailers driven by the ghost of Biggie Smalls…thus we never have to hear this guy rap, anymore….
Worst Case Scenario: Ace Hood inexplicably falls ass backwards into a “This is Why I’m Hot?” and thus, I can’t escape his voice even when I’m on the J Train and some douches cell phone blows up. There really is no worst case scenario. There is no bottom to his limits.
Doc’s Take: Why? Just why, XXL?! Ace Fuckin’ Hood is going to be a future star?! You know what? I was being too hard on Curren$y and
Sounds Like… somebody decided it was good idea to bring hip house back… I’m looking at you, Baby Bam…
Best Case Scenario: He becomes the second, most successful rapper out of
Worst Case Scenario: Actually, I’m not actually sure that above isn’t the worst case scenario. I kind of like Ray Cash. You should probably own “Cash On Delivery.” It’s actually pretty dope. Can we get
Doc’s Take: I saw Kid CuDi in concert at an overpriced club in the West Village a few weeks back with Jeff Weiss and a couple of other bloggers and his live show was pretty good. I was actually pretty shocked that so many people knew the words to a bunch of obscure ass Kid CuDi songs. I also happened to meet Naledge from Kidz In The Hall and to my absolute shock, homebody is Prodigy-sized,. No joke. As for Kid CuDi, I can’t say I’m the word’s biggest fan. His music is kind of the sonic cousin to old Hip House stuff of the early ‘90s and I can’t say I’m really behind that kind of movement. “Day-N-Nite’s” pretty catchy, though.
Final Thoughts: Overall, I’m definitely more pleased with this year’s version that last year’s version of this list. I approve of about half of these rappers on the list and those that I think outright suck aren’t quite as awful as those who I thought absolutely sucked last year. Personally, if I had my druthers I would replace Ace Hood,